I hate my ex girlfriend!

Breaking up with a partner can sometimes be traumatic. Even though you saw it coming or made it happen yourself, you may not be ready for the impact of the break-up. Suddenly you are alone and no longer part of a couple. It feels like a giant missile burst up on your life crushing your dreams and aspirations, leaving your daily existence a strange and difficult place to be.

The feelings you are assailed with are many. It may be anger, hurt, insecurity, sadness, depression, self-revulsion and rage.

‘I hate my ex’ is a common statement of a girl or boy who has just experienced a break-up. Hatred for the partner and self-loathing are the two common emotions experienced by a person who has broken up with his partner.

The feelings after a break-up may be overwhelming. The difficult part is that there are no ground rules for recovering, healing and moving on. From the rubble, you have to pick up the pieces and move on. Firstly you have to deal with anger. It is good to acknowledge the feelings of anger at first but it is best not to act on them. So you must release all that pent up rage somehow, like taking kickboxing classes or writing hate mail to your ex, which you never send. Even punch a few pillows and talk to your friends about your anger. The good thing is that, like all negative emotions that are expressed, these emotions will also fade away. Meanwhile you have to find your own stress busters.

Feelings of guilt are also common. You may wonder what exactly that you did which caused her to break up with you. There is a lot of soul searching and self-criticism involved here to blame oneself for the break-up. The events of your past keep being replayed in your mind. But here you must give yourself a break and think positively about yourself. You must seek the company of friends and family to feel good about yourself. Instead of ruing over what went wrong and what you should have done differently, you must give yourself positive points for getting out of a doomed relationship.