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Showing posts with label public. Show all posts
Showing posts with label public. Show all posts

October 8, 2008

Employer and Employee Lingo

2 comments Posted by ♥пчzє♥ at Wednesday, October 08, 2008

People don't often mean what they say, especially during job interviews. Here are some phrases often exchanged between employers and employees - and what they really mean.


Employer Lingo:

  • "Competitive Salary" -We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
  • "Join Our Fast-Paced Team" -We have no time to train you.
  • "Casual Work Atmosphere" -We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.
  • "Must be Deadline Oriented" -You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
  • "Some Overtime Required" -Some time each night and some time each weekend.
  • "Duties Will Vary" -Anyone in the office can boss you around.
  • "Must Have an Eye For Detail" -We have no quality control.
  • "Career-Minded" -Female applicants must be childless and remain that way.
  • "Apply in Person" -If you're old, fat, or ugly, you'll be told the position has been filled.
  • "No Phone Calls Please" -We've filled the job. Our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
  • "Seeking Candidates With a Wide Variety of Experience" -You'll need it to replace the three people who just left.
  • "Requires Team Leadership Skills" You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
  • "Good Communication Skills" - Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want, and do it.

Employee's Lingo:

  • I'm extremely adept at all manner of office organization"-I've used Microsoft Office.
  • "I'm honest, hardworking and dependable" -I pilfer office supplies.
  • "My pertinent work experience includes..." -I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had.
  • "I take pride in my work" -I blame others for my mistakes.
  • "I'm personable" -I give lots of unsolicited personal advice to coworkers.
  • "I'm extremely professional" -I carry a Day-Timer.
  • "I am adaptable" -I've changed jobs a lot.
  • "I am on the go" -I'm never at my desk.
  • "I'm highly motivated to succeed" -The minute I find a better job, I'm outta there.


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September 21, 2008

Dogs are better than Men because...

0 comments Posted by ♥пчzє♥ at Sunday, September 21, 2008

Just want to share what I've got in Friendster ...

1. Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
2. Dogs miss you when you're gone.
3. Dogs look at your eyes .
4. Dogs aren't threatened by a woman with short hair.
5. Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong .
6. Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence .
7. Dogs understand what "no" means .
8. Dogs don't brag about whom they have slept with .
9. (Dogs do not play games with you -- except fetch
10. and they never laugh at how you throw).
11. Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.
12. Dogs think you are a culinary genius.
13. Dogs are nice to your relatives.
14. Dogs don't mind if you do all the driving.
15. Dogs don't step on the imaginary brake.
16. Dogs admit it when they're lost.
17. Dogs don't weigh down your purse with their stuff.
18. Dogs do not care whether you shave your legs.
19. Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.
20. Dogs mean it when they kiss you
21. You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams .
22. You never wonder whether your dog is good enough for you .
23. You can train a dog.
24. You can force a dog to take a bath.
25. Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.
26. Gorgeous dogs don't know they're gorgeous
27. Dogs are happy with any video you choose to rent, because they know the most important thing is that you're together.
YUN OH!!!ang kulit!!!




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